


Flashbacks of death

by Bleppy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gay Keith (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 19:03:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15125915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bleppy/pseuds/Bleppy
Summary: Lance had not been feeling well lately, in fact, he felt awful. Every time Lance would close his eyes he would see it, feel it in his whole body. Death.Ever since Allura had brought Lance back to life, he had been experiencing weird things, were they flashbacks? Or something else?One-shot with two alternate endings, you get to choose.





	1. BEGINNING

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is sort of a one-shot but with a happy and a sad ending? (That’s why I have three chapters) 
> 
> I just had this idea that I wanted to try :) I hope it’s okay.

Lance had not been feeling well lately, in fact, he felt awful. Every time Lance would close his eyes he would see it, feel it in his whole body. Death. 

Ever since Allura had brought Lance back to life, he had been experiencing weird things, were they flashbacks? Or something else? Lance wasn’t sure if it was even possible to have flashbacks from death. Lance wasn’t sure if what he was experiencing was seven possible, how was it possible to remember death? It wasn’t! If you were dead you were dead, no talk about it! But then, how could Lance feel it? 

He felt it in his entire body. There was no sound, no light, an never ending abyss of darkness. Lance was there, or he wasn’t there, it was hard to explain the great nothingness that haunted Lance’s dreams. Lance was there, but he was still not. Lance did not exist, he was dead, he wasn’t in the nothingness he was a part of it. 

Lance wanted to ask Shiro if he had the same problem, but Shiro had been stuck in the astral plane. Lance wanted to know why he hadn’t been stuck there, was it only the important members of Voltron who went there? Lance had to know why. Why, why, why? Why was he feeling like this. Why wouldn’t it stop and why was no one noticing his weird behavior and doing something about it?

Never mind, Lance could answer the last one by himself. No one cared enough. No one saw him as an important part of the team. No one would waste their time on something as useless as him. Lance could feel the hot tears soaking his cheeks. Why was he crying? It’s not like this was big news, Lance had always known, for a long time he had just chosen to ignore it. But now, it had all gotten a lot worse. No one looked at Lance for more than a few seconds now, people only talked to him in short sentences, usually pointing out thing that he was doing wrong or telling him to get out of the way. 

Everyone had been running around Keith, Krolia and Romelle for the past weeks, and Lance had to admit that he was jealous. Keith had everything that Lance had ever wanted from the team, love, appreciation and respect and Keith had also found his family and a pet alien-wolf. What more could a a man wish for? Lance had been jealous of Keith since the garrison and it had taken a pretty long time for Lance to realize that the jealousy for Keith was based on a crush. But Lance could never have Keith, even if Keith was into guys. Keith didn’t speak to Lance if it wasn’t absolutely necessary, but he spoke to everyone else. But Keith’s wolf, Yorak, seemed to really like Lance. 

With all this sorrow, Lance was glad that he could rely on his best friend, but could he really? Hunk was drifting away from him, yes, Hunk was the one who talked to Lance the most but it was less and less every day. Hunk was almost always with Pidge or wrapped up in some food experiment in the kitchen. But Lance had always known that it was only a matter of time until Hunk would get tired of him.

Lance had always lived in the hope of reuniting with all his family members and friends that had passed away after death in heaven, but now Lance knew that that would not happen. There was no heaven. Only a dark nothing that awaited him. It scared Lance now, when he was alive, the darkness and the silence was unbearable, but Lance couldn’t help but think that if he died for real it would be peaceful. The problem with his dreams were that he was conscious, he understood exactly what was going on and that he was dead and it was terrifying. 

Lance felt his eyelids getting heavier, but he forced himself to stay awake. If Lance fell asleep, he would just be brought back to that horrible, horrible place. Lance just wanted to scream, throw things around and punch someone really hard in the face. The others were sleeping in the tent-like small houses that the team had set up on the planet where they were waiting for Pidge’s dads approval for coming back to earth. When Lance thought about it, the others weren’t sleeping, they had assembled in Hunks tent for games and fun. He could hear the laughter clearly from where he was sitting. Apparently, Lance wasn’t invited. So he sat by the fire, throwing in weird rocks that caused the color of the flame to change. Fun. 

Lance was still crying, he couldn’t get the tears to stop, they just kept coming, thinking about that endless void that he would eventually see again. It would never stop, would it? Lance couldn’t keep quiet anymore, he let out a quiet sob. Just as Lance let out another whimper-like sound, something appeared next to him. Lance jumped from his seat on one of the the tree trunks that they had placed around the campfire when the creature appeared. 

“Oh, hi Yorak” Lance sniffled and sat down again.  
“I guess you that you know my secret now huh? I’m not very happy...” The wolf whimpered and snuggled into Lance’s shirt. Lance was about to continue when he heard voices and laughter coming closer and closer. Lance jumped to his feet once again and begun walking away. He couldn’t let the others on the team see him like this.

“Stop right there thief! Take another step and it will be the end of your life!” Lance heard the familiar voice and sighed. When he thought that it couldn’t get worse Allura doesn’t recognize him at all, even if it was dark outside, the campfires light should have been enough for Allura.  
“Turn around with your arms in the air!” Lance did as he was told and turned around while raising his arms in the air. He was met by everyone except Coran, they were standing there. Shiro, Hunk, Romelle, Keith... everyone. Did no one recognize him? Lance felt his heart breaking a little more. 

“It looks like our hunt for Yorak resulted in something bigger!” Krolia said.  
“Wait...” Lance heard another voice,  
“Lance? What are you doing out here?! Alone?!” Keith’s voice was soothing to Lance’s ears and Lance smiled to himself. The others were talking about Lance’s identity, if the mysterious person petting Yorak really was lance,  
“Isn’t Lance sleeping?” Someone asked, and someone else then asked if Lance wasn’t with them. They were all cut off by Lance’s laughter. It didn’t sound the same way as usual, it was different. It sounded like it almost hurt Lance to laugh. Lance had no idea why he was laughing, he had no reason, he should be crying more but no, the tears had stopped. 

“Go ahead, shoot me.” Lance said, looking Allura dead in the eye. Allura lowered her bow that she had been using since they had played the game with Coran, it was Lance, but why was he acting so weird?  
“Lance? is something wrong?” Allura asked and Lance felt hot tears beginning to form in his eyes once again.  
“I keep seeing it Allura... I just want it to end so that I don’t have to think about it...” Lance almost whispered but the other had heard what he had said.  
“What are you talking about Lance?” Pidge asked, their voice sounding concerned and worried.  
“Ever since I died... I-I keep s-seeing it... death. Please just make it stop!” 

No one said anything for a few seconds, everyone looked so surprised. Did they not know about Lance’s death and resurrection? Could that be the case?  
“YOU WHAT?!” Lance flinched at the sudden shout, Keith took a step forward. “You died?! WHEN?! HOW?! And WHY?! Why did I not know about this?!” Lance couldn’t believe his ears. Did Keith care for him?


	2. SAD ENDING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the sad ending, if you want the happy one just go to the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad
> 
> I tried writing something sad.
> 
> MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH

SAD ENDING

“You’re telling me that you went to the astral plane, met Shiro and didn’t say anything?! And you’ve returned there several times?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED IF ONLY YOU HAD SAID SOMETHING?!” Keith shouted furiously. Lance’s heart broke. His hopes broke, no one cared for him after all. 

“Say something!” Keith shouted again.  
“Hey there, take it easy, I’m sure that Lance didn’t mean to-“ Shiro tried to calm Keith down, but was cut off by Lance.   
“I never said that I went to the astral plane...” he said, Keith’s expression softened a little bit but he still looked furious. Keith was just about to open his mouth when Lance continued talking. 

“I guess that only the most important paladins live on in their lions...” Lance smiled. ”I just stopped existing. I’m being brought back to a great big nothingness every time I close my eyes. I’m nothing there. I don’t exist. There is no light, no sound, nothing at all. And I’m a part of that. I can feel it inside of me because when I’m there in my dreams, I’m couscous, but I can’t do anything! I’m stuck!” Lance was talking loudly now and everyone was staring at him with shocked expressions on their faces. 

“But I guess none of you care.” Lance smiled. The smile that would become his last, is was so painful to look at. Lance’s eyes were so sad and his mouth was, in someway, sad too. No one said a word, so Lance turned around and begun walking away. He heard voices behind him telling him to wait up, so he started running. He ran until he reached his tent. 

Lance crawled around on the floor, searching for his bayard. He finally found it and took it in his hand. It immediately formed a sword. A sword it was then. 

“I’m so sorry...” Lance whispered before raising his hands, wrapped around the sword. 

That was the end of the blue paladin, he was finally at peace. Somewhere in the endless void of non-existence. He would never think again. He would never blame himself for everything that went wrong again. He would never have a crush again. He was nothing and he would never be anything ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read the happy ending if you want to be cheered up.


	3. HAPPY ENDING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the happy ending where everything ends well!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy happy happy happy happy happy 
> 
> This is something happy
> 
> Everything ends well:)

HAPPY ENDING

Lance suddenly felt someone’s arms wrap around him.   
“I can’t believe that I could’ve lost you.” Keith broke the hug and put his hands on Lance’s shoulders.   
“You can talk to me Lance. I promise that I’ll be there for you in the future. Tell me, what do you see? Is it the astral plane?” Keith seemed genuinely concerned and it warmed Lance’s heart. 

“No,” Lance said, “I didn’t go to the astral plane... I just stopped existing. I’m being brought back to a great big nothingness every time I close my eyes. I’m nothing there. I don’t exist. There is no light, no sound, nothing at all. And I’m a part of that. I can feel it inside of me because when I’m there in my dreams, I’m couscous, but I can’t do anything! I’m stuck!” Lance was almost whispering by now, Lance wanted to scream and cry just thinking about it. Allura stepped forward.  
“Lance, I promise you that I will find a solution, I’m positive that there must be something that can soothe the side effects of a resurrection.”

Lance was crying, he was crying a lot. For the first time in a long time Lance felt loved. He was hearing apologies and promises and being hugged by everyone. He smiled, his first honest smile in a very long time, the first one in a series of many that would come in the future.   
“Man, Lance If I would’ve known I would have spent more time trying to make space cocoa for you!” Hunk was crying his eyes out and hugging Lance to the point that the brunet almost couldn’t breathe.

After a long moment of hugs, tears and smiles, the team decided to go to bed. People started going back to their tents. Lance was just about to leave himself when Yorak blocked Lance’s way. When Lance tried to walk around the wolf Yorak kept blocking him.   
“Come on now, I’m pretty tired.” Lance said and smiled. But Yorak refused to move, instead he whimpered and turned his head towards the fire. Lance followed Yorak’s gaze and saw Keith, sitting on one of the tree trunks, resting his head in his hands. 

Lance begun walking back towards the campfire an Yorak followed him happily. Lance sat down a few inches away from Keith, which caused the raven haired boy to look up. Keith’s face was red, had he been crying? When the pale boy noticed Lance, he let out the tiniest sob. Lance had never heard anything like it, Keith the tough guy that Lance had always admired was crying. Lance couldn’t believe his own eyes.

“I should have talked to you...” Keith whimpered. “I’m sorry... I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to shut you out, I just... You were acting so strange and every time I would go near you my stomach would start acting weird an I just-“ Keith was cut off by Lance grabbing his hand. Lance’s hand was warm and comforting.   
“As long as you don’t avoid me any more... I think that I understand how you feel...” Lance smiled and scooted closer to Keith.   
“You do?” Keith asked and smiled back. Lance nodded and raised his hand to wipe Keith’s tears away.   
“That feeling in your stomach sounds really familiar.” Lance said and blushed. 

It was as if everything that Lance had been feeling an hour ago had disappeared. He had almost forgotten the emptiness from his dreams. He felt good with Keith.

Lance had no idea how it happened, but a moment later, their lips were moving together. Keith intertwined their hands and placed his free hand on Lance’s hip, Lance brought his free hand up to Keith’s hair. Lance smiled, which ruined the kiss and the two boys broke apart.   
“Was that... okay?” Keith asked, still holding on to Lance’s hand.   
“It was more than okay.” Lance smiled and leaned in to peck Keith on the lips. Keith smiled, this was good. This was how it was supposed to be, warm and safe with each other.

In the morning, Krolia found the two boys, cuddled up to one another down by the fire, with Yorak sleeping by their feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this one-shot (ish?) 
> 
> Have a nice day!

**Author's Note:**

> Now you get to choose: 
> 
> SAD ENDING
> 
> or
> 
> HAPPY ENDING


End file.
